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Oftentimes the simplest insights are the most profound. Some years ago, I heard prayer described as a “turning inward” in order to find God dwelling in our souls by Sanctifying Grace. He is not a God way out there in heaven lightyears away from earth, but rather He is actually present here on earth and even dwelling in the very recesses of our soul.

This idea always made sense to me on paper, but when it actually came time to put it into practice I was usually a little confused. I know (by faith) and affirm that God dwells within the soul of one living in the state of grace, but how do we find Him there? How do we speak to Him and converse with Him there?

I’m afraid I spent many hours searching the deepest parts of my soul seeking God therein. So many times I was unable to find Him. So many times I searched in vain. This was always a bit confusing since I knew Him to be there, and the only explanation seemed to be that He was concealing Himself from me for one reason or another. On occasion, He did make Himself known to me, and His presence was so overwhelming that it almost forced itself upon my mind and heart. Other times, His presence was not so overwhelming, but it was very easy to find after only a little searching. Why so many different and varied experiences? Is the success of prayer bound up with the pathetic caprices of human emotion and feeling?

A recent retreat conference helped to provide an answer. “Our Lord stands at the door of your heart and knocks,” retreatants were told. “Your job is simply to quickly open the door wide and kindly invite Him inside.” Every Catholic has heard this analogy a thousand and one times, but for some reason it hit differently this time. Perhaps, when I was spending so many hours searching for Our Lord in the deepest recesses of my soul, He was still standing at the door. I was too busy anxiously searching every corner of my soul to hear His subtle knocking. I was preparing myself to go on the expedition of a lifetime in order to find my pearl of great price, but all the while all I had to do was just open the door.

These thoughts necessitated a new resolution: to begin prayer by first opening wide the door of my heart and warmly welcoming the Divine Guest therein. Of course this is the simplest of ideas with which even beginners are well-acquainted, but again, simple is often profound.

A few more thoughts. Just because the door is open does not necessarily mean that the Guest will come inside. It is His prerogative to remain outside if He wishes. He could also choose to quit knocking for a time and even stay away altogether in order to watch from afar. What should my conduct be in such circumstances? I should simply keep the door open to Him for whenever he chooses to enter again. I should keep the door shut to all others and maintain constant vigilance in order to keep the state of my soul just as He wishes it. I should quiet all noise and listen intently should He knock again. I should not become anxious and go out of myself in search of Him. I should remain at peace, confident that He knows where and how to find me should He wish to visit again.

It is true that Our Lord told us to knock in order that His Heart might be opened to us, but doesn’t He always first set the example for us? Can it be denied that He knocks at the door of our poor hearts and patiently waits for us to open them to Him? Can we not say to Him, “Knock at the door of my heart, and it shall be opened to You?”